Trials and Exaggerations

There’s only one more day left to my trial. A trial of strength. A trial of agility. A trial of speed and ability. A trial of heart. A trial of integrity. A trial of love. A trial of temptation. A trial for all times.

The Mechanics III test!!!

Bloka

Mediscuma comala cech me. Dictum shomada kish. Alamash kinni. Somala kina, sumple nadishke. Hendonia shin, helolia kumet.

P.S.: This post is absolutely bullshit. Do not try to make sense of it. Brain hemorrhaging may result.

Jump the bucket

I had this dream where my NP buddies and I were given parking tickets for parking our buckets (lemme repeat: BUCKETS) in a car-parking space. And the fine was $9800!!! I began thinking of ways to raise the money and how to explain it to my parents. Then, I woke up. Freakishly weird.

I had this other dream where I was in the plains, and I could jump really really high, like 10 storeys high. I was jumping away from something. I don’t really know what, but it was kinda like fire? After jumping for a while, it finally stopped when I geared up for another jump, and seemingly fell into my bed, awake (you know that feeling where you seem to drop from a really high place and when you touch the ground and hit the bed instead?).

Weirdness.

HumanForSale.com

HumanForSale.com – Fun Quizzes

Oh shit

I found this shit research somewhere on a friend’s friend’s friend blog, and its really disgustingly, truly, funny!

The Ghost Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there’s no shit in the bowl.

The Clean Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there’s no shit on the toilet paper.

The Wet Shit
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don’t ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.

The Second Wave Shit
This shit happens when you’ve finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.

The Brain Hemorrhage
Through Your Nose Shit Also known as “Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit”.
You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

The “Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit” Shit
The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.

The Wet Cheeks Shit
Also known as the “Power Dump”.
That’s the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

The Liquid Shit
That’s the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.

The Mood Enhancer
This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.

The Aftershock Shit
This shit has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected.

The “Honeymoon’s Over” Shit
This is any shit created in the presence of another person.

The Groaner
A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

The Floater
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings.

The Ranger
A shit which refuses to let go.
It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.

The Phantom Shit
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.

The Snake Charmer
A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position – usually harmless.

The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit
An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can’t shit.

Shitzopherenia
Fear of shitting – can be fatal!

The Power Dump Shit
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you’re done.

The Liquid Plumber Shit
This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor.

The Spinal Tap Shit
The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you’d swear it’s got to be coming out sideways.

The Porridge Shit
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.

The “I Think I’m Turning Into A Bunny” Shit
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

The “What The Hell Died In Here?” Shit
Also sometimes referred to as “The Toxic Dump”.
Of course you don’t warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour.
Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.

The “I Just Know There’s A Turd Still Dangling There” Shit
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it’s going to smear all over the place.

What a load of crap! HaHa!

IMH song

This song is by an artist called Mika. Its called Grace Kelly and its are really fun song. All his songs have this element of fantasy and fun wired into them, and its really ditzy bitzy. Listen to it! Don’t stop the song till you go nutty!

Lyrics

(I wanna talk to you)

(The last time we talked, Mr. Smith, you reduced me to tears)
(But I promise you it won’t happen again)

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?
I got to be wholesome
I could be loathsome
Guess I’m a little bit shy
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you like me without making me try?

I tried to be like Grace Kelly ( mmmm )
But all her looks were too sad (ahhh ahhh)
So I tried a little Freddie (MMMM)
I’ve gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you walk out the door!

(Getting angry doesn’t solve anything)

How can I help ya
How can I help it
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby
Hello my baby
Putting my life on my brink
Why don’t you like me
Why don’t you like me
Why don’t you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older just to be put on your shelf?

I tried to be like Grace Kelly (mmmm)
But all her looks were too sad (ahhh ahhh)
So I tried a little Freddie (MMMM)
I’ve gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you like me?
Walk out the door!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself
Hey!
But you only want what everybody else says you should want you want

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you like me?
Walk out the door!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you like me?
Walk out the door!

Oooh, oooh!
(Humphry, we’re leaving!)
Kaching!

Blog rating

I got this from Zach’s blog. Guess my blog isn’t too bad. What f****** material isn’t suitable for children?!

………………….

Oh. That.

Elevator affinity

I just thought of this. Its a weird thing about me and its kind weirdly stupid and eerie. Many times when I’m on my way home and I walk to the elevator, the elevator door opens up right when I’m in front of it poising to push the button. Its happened more than 30 times at least. I don’t know if this happens to you people alot but, its just weird!

AhHHHhhhHhHhHHhHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

She’s coming, for you.
She’s coming, for your life.
She’s coming, for you, to buy her B&Js’!?!?

B&Js’ stands for Ben & Jerry’s. Its the name of an ice cream company which sells a deliciously expensive range of ice cream. And this girl is obsessed with it. She’s one of my links on the right. Ain’t gonna say her name unless she approves of it. And she wants me to buy the ice cream for her. Incredible. I’m like Mr. Empty Pockets and I’ve gotta buy expensive ice cream. I am not a miser by the way. It costs a bomb. Haha. I’m just all kidding. But, really, its expensive! And I forgot to say, she wants me to bake cookies for her. Its the worst idea ever because I have never baked anything in my entire life(except for my skin in the sun)(which was also a bad idea because it just turned red for a day and returned to its normal shade of skin).

Oh well. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try to bake cookies. Wouldn’t hurt me anyway.

Disclaimer: My cookies will be baked with any ingredient I choose. Eat it at your own risk.

P.S.: Don’t ask what’s inside, you don’t wanna know!

In Class

Yes, yes, all of you are rolling your eyes at my previous post on the superhero quiz. Guess its just like that. Heh. There aren’t many heroes to be. Most of them are from D.C. comics instead of Marvel comics. From Marvel, there are only Spiderman and the Hulk. I’m in class now and the class is taking a break. Dalton and Han Yong are standing beside me now. Haha. There’s a test coming up in a few minutes, on differentiation. I didn’t study for it. Heh. E-learning week is coming up! We can stay at home and attend class in our beds. Haha.

Whoops, gotta go take the test! Later..